We're slowly digging ourselves out from what seems like a long, lovely winter's nap. Daddy had to "go back to work" yesterday, so that pushed us back into real life a bit. But, we can still be found lounging in our pj's a bit longer than usual.
So, it is a new year, is it? For me, last year was an amazing one-- full of incredible highs- the most important of which was having my sweet girl-- words can't express the love I feel for you, sweet Lucie. You are just starting to say "Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma." Even if you have know idea what it means, well, it really melts a Ma-ma's heart.
I found work that suits me well-- "What, you're going to pay me for this?" I feel so privileged to be a part of such a quality publication. As I read it from cover to cover I see myself in so many of the articles. And my editor is a dream to work with. (really, R.)
And I had my share of tough times too, particularly watching two of the most beloved people in my life have real struggles, at a time when I am the least able to help them. There is nothing harder than standing by and watching people you love make destructive decisions.
But, I really learned a lot about myself this year. As Elliot grows up and becomes his own person, I really view my own past differently. My brother Drew and I have an age spread pretty close to my kids, and for the first time I wondered what all of our experiences must have been like for him. That's the amazing thing about siblings. You're the only two (or three or four- whatever) people who have had experiences so similar-- and yet, how it effects you and who you become is entirely different. Drew was always the athletic and artistic one, I was the smart one. I used to correct his grammar-- how obnoxious is that? I didn't pursue art until adulthood because Drew was so naturally talented at it. It probably could have saved both of us a lot of angst if we weren't so busy trying to be what the other wasn't.
And you kind people, I really feel like your support and enthusiasm have helped my clarify who I am- or as Elliot says--"who I want to be when I grow up." Actually, he asked me that recently, and when I replied "A Mommy," he exclaimed-- "no, somebody that does something!!!" Ha!
For the coming year I want to:
1) learn to crochet (registered for a 10 week class this morning- yay!)
2) carve out more time for my husband and myself
3) find more support for our family through scheduled childcare, reaching out to old friends, making new ones, getting more involved in building a community, etc.
4) be more realistic about what I can accomplish without making myself crazy
Here's to a great one, people. Now, back to doing nothing...