Begin Again

We're slowly digging ourselves out from what seems like a long, lovely winter's nap.  Daddy had to "go back to work" yesterday, so that pushed us back into real life a bit.   But, we can still be found lounging in our pj's a bit longer than usual.

So, it is a new year, is it?  For me, last year was an amazing one-- full of incredible highs- the most important of which was having my sweet girl-- words can't express the love I feel for you, sweet Lucie.  You are just starting to say "Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma."  Even if you have know idea what it means, well, it really melts a Ma-ma's heart.

I found work that suits me well-- "What, you're going to pay me for this?"   I feel so privileged to be a part of such a quality publication.  As I read it from cover to cover I see myself in so many of the articles.  And my editor is a dream to work with.  (really, R.)

And I had my share of tough times too, particularly watching two of the most beloved people in my life have real struggles, at a time when I am the least able to help them.   There is nothing harder than standing by and watching people you love make destructive decisions.

But, I really learned a lot about myself this year.  As Elliot grows up and becomes his own person, I really view my own past differently.  My brother Drew and I have an age spread pretty close to my kids, and for the first time I wondered what all of our experiences must have been like for him.  That's the amazing thing about siblings.  You're the only two (or three or four- whatever) people who have had experiences so similar-- and yet, how it effects you and who you become is entirely different.  Drew was always the athletic and artistic one, I was the smart one.  I used to correct his grammar-- how obnoxious is that?  I didn't pursue art until adulthood because Drew was so naturally talented at it.  It probably could have saved both of us a lot of angst if we weren't so busy trying to be what the other wasn't.

And you kind people, I really feel like your support and enthusiasm have helped my clarify who I am- or as Elliot says--"who I want to be when I grow up."  Actually, he asked me that recently, and when I replied "A Mommy," he exclaimed-- "no, somebody that does something!!!"  Ha!

For the coming year I want to:
1) learn to crochet (registered for a 10 week class this morning- yay!)
2) carve out more time for my husband and myself
3) find more support for our family through scheduled childcare, reaching out to old friends, making new ones, getting more involved in building a community, etc.
4) be more realistic about what I can accomplish without making myself crazy
5) relax

Here's to a great one, people.  Now, back to doing nothing...

Comments

[Deana]

Just found your blog through a link somewhere else - but glad to see you are from Mi! (I'm up in Fenton) You have a great blog here and I look forward to reading more of it!
Deana

[Angel]

I have to admit that I got quite a chuckle over the "no... someone who does something" bit. Kids! Hmph. :) Happy New Year to you and your family!

[Mama Urchin]

Happy New Year! Here's to a fun, productive, and relaxing year.

[erin]

happy new year courtney! sounds like you are off to a great start.

[sallyd]

happy new year! i think i need to create a list of my top 5 things to achieve too.. a new baby last year has me a little all over the place.. but reading your blog, among others has helped inpsire me to be more creative as well as enjoy what i do.. enjoy the new year & be kind to yourself!

[kelly]

what an inspiring post...wishing you a wonderful 2008 that brings lots of happy times for you + your family! x

[melissa]

Courtney, your blog has been an inspiration to me this year to live a more creative, family centered life and to cut out the clutter- both visual and psychic- from my home and family. Thank you!

[dorie]

happy new year! I hope it's a great one.

[Oiyi]

Your son is hilarious! Children say the funniest things. Sigh...I can't for my little one to arrive.

You are going to love crochet. It's a lot of fun.

[Ravenhill]

I enjoyed this post. It is nice of you to share so much of yourself and your thoughts. It is frequently helpful to read because I have many of the samme issues; like having realistic idea of what I can accomplish... Happy New Year!

[mamae]

I'm a new one to your blog but already found it really nice. I found your blog via a link to one of your postings from June last year where you wrote about how you had organised the summer holidays. Over here in Brazil we're enjoying our summer holidays right now and thanks to that posting back in June I also got round to organising the rest of our holidays with a theme for each week, we just started today! Thanks for the good idea and all the best for the new year!

[amandajean]

ha! to the mommy comment by elliot...that is funny.

can you tell me about that fabulous quilt on the couch?!?!? did you make it?

[Anna]

I need to adopt number 4 for myself. Good to know there is someone else out there with this same issue. I schedule myself as if I do not have the 2 littles always underfoot.