Absence

Sorry for my absence lately.  I am being pulled in many directions right now, and it seems that it is this little place that has to give a little.  As I prepare for my new baby in about three weeks, I am also going through some difficulties with Elliot.  I guess three is the magic age for us, no terrible two's here, just some really trying three's.  He takes all I have to give and more, and it scares me to death that soon I will have to give to someone else.  Is there any left?  I'm not sure.  We've set up a life here with very little support system, and I'm really feeling it right now.  Struggling with my own perfectionism, and comparing the Mother I thought I would be with the Mother that I am. 

And missing my own Mom terribly, for the support she could give me, as well as the place she would have in the lives of my kids.  And knowing that someone else I love very much is needing her even more than me right now. 

So for now, be patient with me.  Some of you are owed emails, I'll try to get to it.  My family needs me right now.  I'm thankful to have this place to come and hoping some of you can understand.

Comments

[Michelle]

Three is the magic number according to School House Rocks. I think I've heard my mom say that three, not two, is the real trying age. At that seems right from my memories of dealing with my much younger siblings when they were three. Just some commiseration here.

Of course there are many cute times at age three too. Hopefully these will get you through the bad.

[tracy]

my eldest was just shy of 3 when our second was born. i didn't know how we would do it. but we did. all of us. more than any she rose to the challenge and surprised me in the most wonderful ways. hang in there. it will all be ok... thinking of you

[kerry : k8tykat]

ah courtney. we all need that time. right before i had the boy i was feeling the same. how can i possibly care for my girl when i'm going to have an infant to tend to, love, hold, kiss. how will she handle this? how will i?

it gets better. i promise. i've learned that the rough patches count just as much [and sometimes more] as the easy phases. and i it's these times that are really good insights into the strength we have as mothers.

xo

[MagFly]

*hug*

We have some battles over here too...

And I know the pre-two-feeling. But Eliott will probably grow a lot over the next few weeks. Treat him like a big boy.

[momomimi]

Sounds very familiar, I'm due with baby #2 next week (aaahhh!!!), and have a 3 1/2 year old. I've found 3 plus to be so exhausting and hard work (possibly due to being pregnant). But just think they'll be so much more independent and you can reason a little more with them at this age. All the best

[Sue]

this too shall pass. you hang in there.....and ya know what, i have always compared myself with what i "thought" motherhood would be - it's just wasted negative energy. you are doing great! and, you will surprise yourself...when this new little one comes - you will have lots to give. :)

[Carmen]

Hang in there, Courtney! Take it one day at a time and it will all work out. I had a baby last year when my eldest was 3 so I can completely understand. Some days you might not be the mom you want to be, but Elliot will remember the good days more than the bad. Do you have any good neighbours that you can call when you need a moment to yourself? {Hugs to you}

[erin]

Oh, Courtney, it's going to be just fine! Three is a hard age - at least it was for both of my girls. But they keep growing and it gets so much easier and better for everyone. I am sure he'll jump right in to his role as big brother. As for you, don't worry. You will be amazed at how much you have to give to both your kiddos. Thinking of you.

[Heidi]

Hang in there. I'll be thinking of you as you come down the home stretch with your new baby!

[kate]

being a mommy is the hardest work ever. go easy on yourself!

[anna]

Wow. I know what you are going through. I just had #2, and I want you to know that it was actually a lot easier to transition than I thought it would be. Things do take a lot longer now. Sometimes they tag-team me and I don't get more than 5 minutes alone. But now that is has been almost three months, a schedule is forming, and things are really settling down. I'm not the mother I thought I would be, either, but who cares, when your hours are spent just adoring your little ones? And remember...anything is better than that last month of pregnancy. Hang in there! Anna

[molly]

i think i can commiserate with you, courtney...

maybe elliot is feeling the pressure of the new baby coming, too. He knows things are about to change. But I'm sure when he sees the baby it will all fall into place. I think the anticipation of big events is hard for kids--at least it is for mine.
Take a break. Take care of yourself. Enjoy your last few weeks. I'm trying to do the same...
think of you often**
xo.

[Beth]

I wish I could cook you dinner or help out in some way, but all you get is this little comment to let you know that I'm sending good thoughts your way and I can empathize with how you feel and it'll get better (how's that for a run-on sentence?!). Hang in there and do little somethings for yourself whenever you can...

[sally]

Sending big hugs to you! E is going to love the new baby...you'll be surprised how quickly they take on the role of big brother. And you will be amazed at how your heart just grows to love + give to another little being. You're a wonderful mother Courtney!!

[Amy]

Believe me, I remember the trying threes... hang in there. It does get easier, and Elliot may actually improve his behavior when the baby arrives. He may love having new responsibilities around the house. At least, we'll just pray it works that way!!

[melissa f.]

we are going through something similar with sam. developmental? yes, it so much is. he's going to come out the other end and so are you. and, when all else fails, take comfort in the fact that he won't remember this time near as well you you will :)

[laeroport]

We're having a trying bout of the threes with our little Eliot, too. And I've discovered boy threes are so much worse than girl threes.

Sending you all good wishes as you move from three to four. :)

[Mama Urchin]

I remember before my second was born that scary feeling that I would never be able to handle him and his 2.5+ year sister. Somehow you muddle through and there will even be magical moments. You'll make it, don't worry.

[Susan]

Warm thoughts and hugs heading your way. Enjoy these last few days viewing Elliot as your baby as much as you can. I couldn't believe how big and grown up my 15month old suddenly was when we brought our 3rd babe home!

[JailDiet]

i had no clue you were do so soon.

take this time to relax, not blog.

we're here for you.

[Lei]

Well, I know I am new to your site, but if you get a moment, come on over to my blog (the Many Colored Days one) and participate in my little exercise. It's not my crafty blog ( I have one of thsoe, too;)), but I promise it will lift you. :)

I am celebrating my mother's bday this weekend... I lost her almost 3 years ago. I cannot tell you how many times (particularly around the birth of my children) I have needed and wanted her so.

Hugs to you...

[Tara]

I'm sure Elliot knows his life is about to change, and that is part of what is going on. Kids just *know*, even if they don't really know how a new baby will change things!

It will get better, and you will find time and love for both of your babies! It does seem overwhelming, but you can do it!

[gwendolen]

hang in there...!

[gwendolen]

hang in there...!

[Nicole]

Hang in there! I could NEVER understand the "terrible two's terrific three's" quote...as 2 was WONDERFUL 3's and 4's were the WORST!!!!!

[Stacia]

Do we live close (Seattle, Washington)? I have two little bubs and have yet to build a good support system here either.

I'm sure everyone has told you this, if it's any help, what you're feeling is normal. And there's always enough love. I think what Mama's of two really need help with is the recoup time. Hopefully someone you trust can relieve you regularly after the baby comes. =)

[Rhonda]

I can understand the 'small support system'. I am a single mother...raising my son 100% by myself. I'm in Florida...ALL of my family is in Indy. Some of the things you wrote are things that cross my mind ALL the time. Mother's guilt, I guess. God watches over us, though. Take comfort in that.

[Blair]

this sounds like me, with mine, about 5 1/2 yrs ago. kids are so sensitive to impending change, they pick up on the least little bit. we, too, don't have family anywhere close to us. it was hard for me too, at the stage you're in, but i look back now at how simple life was in some ways during that time. i knew emma needed me emotionally, and ian needed me physically (nursing and holding). keeping all that in perspective helped me get through the days i didn't think i could get through. hang in there, you are going to be just fine, so will Elliot. hugs to you.

[Aimee]

Don't be so hard on yourself. Parenting is hard but of course worth every minute of it! And you'll be amazed at how well you'll juggle another one!!